Billy Bob’s Pool Hall & Mortuary Shirt
Billy Bob’s Pool Hall & Mortuary Shirt
Some jokes are dumb. Others are dark. Then we have the ones that are so ridiculous that they circle all the way back around to funny again... which is pretty much where Billy Bob’s Pool Hall & Mortuary lives.
When I was little, my friend’s dad used to answer the phone with some version of this ridiculous business name. I cannot remember whether it was Billy Bob, Jim Bob, John Boy, or some other two-name combination, but it was definitely a Pool Hall & Mortuary, followed by some version of “You stab ’em. We slab ’em.” I thought it was hysterical. I’m fairly sure his daughter was mortified, which probably made it even funnier.
As you can see, this stupid dad joke took up permanent residence somewhere in my brain. Add in the fact that I started reading Stephen King in the fifth grade, because apparently nobody thought that was a questionable parenting decision, and this is what happens decades later: Billy Bob’s Pool Hall & Mortuary.
Once I started sketching it, the place took on a personality of its own. Of course there had to be an old roadside sign. Of course there had to be a hearse parked out front. Of course the windows needed to glow like somebody inside was still serving drinks long after common sense said they should have closed. Then came the raven with the red eye from The Stand, because subtlety had already left the building people, ok? It sits somewhere between roadside dive bar, questionable family business, and the kind of place you would slow down to look at if you passed it on a back road.
A quick thank-you to Taylor and Courtney for trusting me enough to let me use them for the lifestyle images. Anybody who agrees to become one of my models is giving me a surprising amount of creative freedom, and I don’t take that lightly. I promise to use it mostly responsibly at least sometimes.
Every design has a backstory. This one started with a ridiculous phone greeting, a childhood dad joke, and way too much Stephen King.
Design text:
Billy Bob’s Pool Hall & Mortuary
You stab ’em. We slab ’em.
Cold Beer • Good Service • Burial Plans
Great for:
• People with a darker sense of humor
• Anyone who grew up around questionable dad jokes
• Pool players, bar regulars, and funeral-industry folks with a sense of humor
• Fans of vintage roadside signs and weird little businesses
• People who appreciate humor that is slightly inappropriate
• Anybody who has ever laughed and immediately thought, “That is terrible” and then laughed harder
A quick note about the print: These are printed direct-to-garment, so the artwork feels softer and more breathable than a thick vinyl-style transfer. I like a graphic tee, but I want the design without feeling like I’m wearing a plastic sign on my chest.
Please note: Colors may appear slightly different depending on your screen settings and the shirt color selected. Because each shirt is printed individually, the size and placement of the artwork may vary slightly from the product images.
Original design by Blakasso Designs. All artwork and designs are the property of Blakasso Designs. All rights reserved.
| XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 16.00 | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 27.00 | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length, in | 7.99 | 8.23 | 8.50 | 8.74 | 9.02 | 9.25 | 9.49 | 9.72 | 9.96 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean